Getting to know my friends family

When my friend and I walked into his living room, there stood a man standing on a chair in the middle of the room.  His arms moving in a jerky motion as he continuously pinched his fingers shut.  It looked as if he was trying to catch flies out of the air like Mr. Miagi in the movie Karate Kid, but there were no flies in the room.  My friend yelled.  “Hey Mom, Uncle Frank got out of his straight jacket again!”

Speaking of weird.  Sharon has booked marked some weird and wild things on diigo.
ok ok  back to the story.

Just as Uncle Frank fell off the chair their dog ran into the room to greet us.  He stood up on his hind legs leaning his front paws onto my shoulders and started to lick my face.  I pushed him away.  He then proceeded to smell my crotch.  I looked over at my friend and said.  “Dude, can you control your dog, or I’m going to put him in Frank’s straight jacket.” 

My friend just laughed

Wow is this a normal American family, I thought to myself.

Dear Portland Mayor Sam Adams

Dear Mayor Sam Adams,

I understand your support for the Occupy Portland protesters.  I support their right for freedom of speech and I applaud your effort to maintain a nonviolence approach in dealing with the protesters.

I do however hope you will reconsider your decision in letting them camp in the park.  As I understand it, there is a city ordinance prohibiting people from camping in the park, and for good reason.

I myself spend a lot of time in downtown Portland, and up until now was able to enjoy the park and the charm of downtown.  The park is a great place to unwind on a stress-full day and collect your thought before your next appointment.  The charm and culture of the park cannot be matched anywhere.  On any typical day walking through the park you will meet a rich culture of people.  Some of them musicians, on one end I have met a trumpet player on the other a guitarist and on several occasions I have met an artist capturing the culture of downtown in a painting.

"if you are getting irritated from reading this, take a break and watch a video on interior design by Sharon from Trading Places Interiors.  OK now that your calm again continue reading"

That culture and beauty is now gone.  In its place are broken tree limbs, trampled muddy lawns, piles of garbage, a smell that can peal paint, and a field of tents.  By allowing these protesters to continue to break the law and camp in the park you are allowing the livability and the quality of life to deteriorate for those Portland citizens that live and work in downtown.

Yes they have the right to freedom of speech and the right to protest, but camping in the park is illegal.  Camping in the park is not helping their cause.  The right wing media is having a field day with their camp.  Their has been reports of sexual assault, arrests for drugs, a protester caring a gun, a missing child, and the list goes on.  I’m sure you are aware of more issues.  These issues are all bad press and allowing their opposition to dismiss their cause.

Please encourage the protesters to pack up their camp.  If they want to continue to protest that is great.  Let them, let them march all night, suggest to them to march from the Justice center to a big bank of their choice and back to the Justice center.  They can do it over and over.  Please stop allowing the Occupy Portland protesters from camping in the park, they are infringing on the rights of the rest of Portland citizens that would like to use the park.  Please return the culture and beauty to the park and Downtown Portland.

If all else fails. maybe the protestors can camp in this fire truck guest house instead of ruining the park.

Occupy Portland / Wall Street

One of my customers said she was going down to the Occupy Portland protest. She then pulled out her Citi Bank Master card to pay for her purchase. Seems a bit hypocritical to me, if you are against big banks why do you have your account with them. I wonder how many Occupy (insert city here) protesters have accounts with big banks. There are a ton of local banks out there. If these protestors are going to make any kind of a difference they need to get organized and take an action that will actually make a difference towards the banks they hate so much. Instead of trashing downtown Portland, shitting in the park blocks they should be closing their accounts with big banks and move them to local banks. If the 99% moved their accounts would everybody be able to go back to work?

Some say It's not about taking big banks down, it's about the inequality of the distribution and wealth and expecting wall street to take some responsibility for the state of our economy.

However many of us have our 401K’s, IRA’s and other retirement funds invested in securities that are trade on Wall Street; we all participate in the system.  So who specifically on Wall Street do the Occupy Wall Street Protesters want to take responsibility and if those people do take responsibility what do the Occupy Wall Street Protesters want them specifically to do?  

Maybe they should just go to the beach!

Chose your Fuzzy Navel Lint Installer Carefully or you Could Lose a Good Customer.

I sent the wrong fuzzy navel lint installer to impress my new customer. Mrs. Newman is an owner of a whole bunch of rental houses and needed to replace the fuzzy navel lint flooring in one of her rental houses. So I sent one of my installers out to replace the flooring with some budget friendly fuzzy navel lint.

My installer went out to the house and found the house locked, not wanting to bother the new client with problems he took it upon himself to break into the house.
He went to work, but found that there was a ton of furniture in the house he had to move. So he called a friend to help move the furniture and install the fuzzy navel lint flooring.  

Mrs. Newman decided to stop by to see how things were going, she called me very angrily because nobody was at the rental property and the floor was untouched. I called my installer to find out what the hell was going on he said he had finished the job and got all of the furniture back in place. “Furniture what furniture” I said. “this was an empty rental house there should not have been any furniture.”

Meanwhile Mrs. Newman decided to go home which prompted 2nd angry call from her. My installers had gone to the billing address not the installation address and had installed that cheap fuzzy navel lint flooring in her house. 

It cost my installers a lot of money to fix their mistake. The fuzzy navel lint flooring they had removed from Mrs. Newman’s personal home was top quality. It came from the riches and finest navels in Beverly Hills.  This just goes to show how important it is to send out your best Fuzzy Navel Lint installer when trying to impress a new client. 

Maybe I should just go into the bedroom furniture delivery business and deliver all this bedroom furniture, or even just beds

Forest Gump

I liked how Scott introduced Forrest Gump in the first paragraph with some descriptive details and his own personal feelings.  It definitely grabbed my attention to keep reading, how exactly Scott was going to compare himself to Forest.  I think a lot of people can relate to Forrest and how he struggled to become accepted in society.  However I think Scott is writing mainly to those who have struggled with accepting their own physical appearance as if their appearance is what really matters.  His last paragraph drove the point home.  He states that, “each wanting “who he is” to be more important than “what he does.”  As if he was really saying, what you do and how you do it should be more important than what peoples’ perception is of you.   
 

After Forrest gets done running he is going to need some furniture to sit on.